Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
