I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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