She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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