I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize