The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
