ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
