If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
