I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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