Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
