I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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