I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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