I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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