I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
