I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
