Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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