ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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