Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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