It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
