wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
