You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
