I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
