I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
