Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
