We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize