i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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