She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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