Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i drank out of a bidet.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
