Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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