yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
