your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
