I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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