oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
