I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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