What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
