i need an iv and a liver transplant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
