Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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