I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
