this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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