I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize