What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
