Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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