we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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