Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
