so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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