if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
