Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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