Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
