Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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