i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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