the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
