so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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