How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Randomize