You're a womanizer and a bitch.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize