sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
