Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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