You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
