You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
