I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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