Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
