he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
