Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
