So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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