She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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