Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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