Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
