So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
