Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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