The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
