Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
