I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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