Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
