No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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