How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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